Thursday, August 15, 2013
"Return to Me" (2000)
Because it's really sweet. And it has these four cranky old guys, and I have to admit, I love cranky old guys. Not mean old guys, that's a way different thing. But cranky, growly, crusty-on-the-outside-and-gooey-on-the-inside old guys? Love them. In real life and in movies. And books. And TV shows. (This bodes well for my husband in forty years.) Also, David Duchovny cries really well.
Okay, so the completely implausible and corny story is this: Whatshisname (David Duchovny)'s wife dies. Whatshername (Minnie Driver) gets his wife's heart as a transplant. Whatshisname and Whatshername meet. They fall in love. The four cranky old guys (Carroll O'Connor, Robert Loggia, et al) aid and abet this romance with lots of great old music from Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra, etc. They even have a discussion about who the greatest crooners of all time are, and Bobby Darin gets a mention. Score!
Of course, then complications have to ensue because Whatshername finds out that it's Whatshisname's dead wife's heart that's now beating madly in her chest whenever she sees Whatshisname, enabling her to ride a bicycle, and generally making all of Whatshername's wildest dreams come true. Whatshername is convinced that if Whatshisname finds out, he'll always think of his dead wife when he sees her, and it'll freak him out or make him sad or... something. Reasons, ok? Because of reasons.
But all ends well (sorry, kinda spoiled it all there, didn't I? On the other hand, if you couldn't see all of this coming from about the first 4 minutes of the movie, you're a dimmer man than I, Gunga Din) and everyone lives happily ever after. Except Whatshisname's dead wife, of course.
I was going to go back and plug in the character names after looking them up on imdb, but I think it makes just as much sense this way, plus it amuses me. "And precious little amuses me, at my age." (Quick! What's that from?)
Yeah, I need sleep, don't I?
Oh, but if you name your movie after a Dean Martin song, would it kill you to play it during the finale or something? Not just once at the beginning? We Dino fans would greatly appreciate it, 'kay?
Hang on -- forgot to say if this is family-friendly or not. There's a surprising amount of profanity, most of it supposed to be funny as James Belushi's character cusses at his kids to try to get them to stop cussing. I don't find it funny. But there's no nudity or love scenes or even kiss-and-fade-to-black scenes, though there's a lot of innuendo that a married couple like to have sex. Shocker! Married people have sex! EEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Run away! Run away!!!!!!!!!
Must. Sleep. Now.