I Have Finally Figured It Out

After twenty-five years of Shakespeare's play Hamlet: Prince of Denmark fascinating me endlessly, I finally have an answer to the question "Why do you love Hamlet so much?"  I know why I was drawn to it when I first read it at the age of 17, and why I feel pulled to watch some version of it every time I move.  Why I take it off the shelf to read when I am stressed.  Why I crave it at those very particular points of my life.

(All pics from my Bookstagram)

It's because I hate change.  Anyone who knows me knows that change is my least-favorite thing.  Changed plans stress me out more than anything else.  People who change make me sad.  Graduations and weddings and funerals make me cry.  Change bothers me.  Sometimes deeply.

And, you know what I realized today?  Hamlet hates change too.

In fact, he spends the first four acts of the play raging against change.  

Everything in his life has changed.  His father has changed from alive to dead.  And then his dead father changes into a ghost.  His mother changes from loving wife of his father to loving wife of his uncle.  His uncle changes from some random dude at court into the king AND Hamlet's stepfather.  His ability to woo and court Ophelia changes from being totally fine to totally forbidden.

And Hamlet's whole life plan changes from "I'm happy at college, and some day I'll probably be king" to "I'm not permitted to go back to college, and I probably won't ever be king" to "I need to avenge my father by killing my uncle, so now I'm definitely never going to live long enough to go back to college, much less be king."

And he hates it.  He rages against it.  He refuses to accept the inevitability of change.  Claudius and Gertrude try to remind him in the very beginning of the play that death is inevitable, and Hamlet is not having it.  He refuses to accept that.  He nopes right on out of there, as fast as his inky cloak will let him.  No, no, no, change and death are not inevitable, you can just take that idea and shove it where the sun don't shine.

And then, while he's off hanging out with pirates between acts 4 and 5, Hamlet changes.  He accepts the inevitability of change and of death.  He comes back to Denmark, and he's ready for whatever is next.

And THAT is what I am drawn to, when my life is in upheaval.  That journey of Hamlet's from raging against the inevitability of change to accepting it is exactly the journey I need to take myself, every time I move somewhere new or take on a new job or face some really stressful situation.  I've always said Hamlet is cathartic for me, and that watching or reading it kind of cleanses me emotionally.  And I was never quite sure how else to explain that, but now I know.  I'm processing my own hatred of change by sharing Hamlet's, and his journey eases me along in my own.

So.  Now I know.  And now you do too. 

That's all I've got for today.  Carry on about your business.

Three Things I Love in a Story

 I've been mulling over this sort of thing for years.  What do I, personally, need in a story?  What do I want?  What do I not want?  I've discussed this various times, with various people, but it's always fun to revisit, so today, I'm sharing three things I love in a good story, whether it's a book or a movie or a TV show. 

(All photos are mine from my Instagram account.)

1.  Characters I want to be friends with.  No lie -- this is make-or-break for me.  If I don't want to be friends with at least a few of the main characters and hang out with them, I won't be re-reading or re-watching this, which means I don't love it, or even like it much.  I realize this is highly subjective, as no one can really predict what will make me want to be friends with a fictional character, but there it is. 

Actually, I do have some pretty basic things I like in a character.  They need to be nice and helpful.  I also appreciate characters who are loyal, sensible, and practical.  A little quirkiness is nice, and I appreciate both sarcasm and sass a lot.  But those are all gravy.  I don't love characters who are not both nice and helpful.  Now you know.

2.  Realistic dialog.  It needs to sound like things real human beings in that point in time would say.   (William Shakespeare gets a pass for this one -- no mere mortal talks as well as his characters.  But it would be nice if we did!) 

Also, I really appreciate it when an author tells me a character has an accent, say Scottish, and then lets me imagine the accent.  I dinnae apprrreciate it when they mun go to verrrah grrreat lengths to wrrrite oot the accent -- ach, mon, it gives me a rrroarrring headache if I cannae rrread it easily.

3.  Happy endings.  And by that, I mean endings that make me happy.  I want moral balance restored to the universe at the end of a story -- good triumphs over evil, etc.  This is why I consider the ending of Hamlet to be happy -- good has triumphed, even if at great personal cost.  If evil wins, or if good kinda wins but evil is still lurking somewhere, then it's not a happy ending, to me. 

How about you?  What do YOU love in a story?

Why Do I Love Han Solo?

A couple of years ago, I started to wonder if I really loved Han Solo (Harrison Ford) best of all Star Wars characters.  I mean, he's been my favorite since I saw the original trilogy for my first time when I was in my early teens.  Maybe I just kept loving him out of nostalgia mixed with loyalty?  That happens to me sometimes, that I insist something is still my favorite even if I discover something else I like better right now.  (This happens to me with ice cream flavors, for instance.  I say mint chocolate chip is my favorite, but if you give me a good mocha ice cream, I will probably like it better.)

However, this summer, I showed my kids the original Star Wars trilogy over the course of just a few days.  And I realized that nope, it's not nostalgia.  It's not loyalty.  I really do love Han Solo best.  No other Star Wars character makes my eyes shine and my lips curve up and my heart beat a little faster the way that he does.

And it's not just because Harrison Ford is one of my favorite actors.  Nope, I still love Han even when he's played by Alden Ehrenreich.  Though I do prefer him when he's played by Harrison Ford, Han Solo is Han Solo, either way.

So, why do I love him, anyway?

I think I love Han Solo because he needs to be loved.  

In fact, that right there -- that nutshell of a sentence -- is basically why I love many of my favorite characters.  Maybe even most of them.  Possibly all of them, now that I think about it.

I love Han Solo because, when we first meet him, he's convinced he's unlovable.  He's trying his best NOT to be lovable.  He doesn't need any friends except Chewbacca.  He is too cool to care about people, and too cool to care if other people care about him.  (Shh, that sentence totally made sense.)

My dudes and dudettes, you do not get that way by being a happy person.  Show me someone who insists "I don't need anybody" and I will see a person who has been hurt in the past, and hurt badly.  Who is still hurting.  Who desperately needs someone to care about them, care for them.

I volunteer as tribute!  I will care about you, Han Solo!!!  I will dedicate the Star Wars section of my heart to caring about you.  Vehemently.  Passionately.  For decades.  Unreservedly.  You are now mine, I am now yours, and that's what makes the world go 'round.

I think that's why I like Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) so much.  It confirms my belief that Han Solo had been hurt in the past and had created his I'm-too-cool defensive shields as a result.

Anyway.  This post is totally a ramble by now.  But yes, I love Han Solo because he needs someone to love him.  And, over the course of the original trilogy, he finds such people!  Or, such people find him.  He makes actual friends.  He falls in love with someone who loves him back.  He learns how to be caring, how to be cared for, and his whole outlook on life changes as a result.

Also, he's sarcastic.  I love sarcastic characters.  And characters who are super nice and kind and helpful inside, even if you can't always tell at first.  Han didn't become a helpful guy, he always was helpful, even while he was also a scoundrel.  He's right, you know, when he tells Leia that he's a nice man.  He is.  A nice man AND a scoundrel -- not an impossible combination, you know!  Simply an irresistible one.  I could eat him up with a spoon.

So, yeah, I do love Han Solo best, of of all the thousands of characters in the Star Wars universe.  He's a cynic who learns to hope, a loner who learns to befriend, and a hotshot who will always be the best pilot in the galaxy, as far as I'm concerned.

This has been my first contribution for the Everything Star Wars Blogathon hosted by Coffee, Classics, and Craziness and I'm Charles Baker Harris (And I Can Read).  Come back tomorrow to find out why I love Cassian Andor!

My Life's Ambition

I realized something as I was prepping for this blogathon.  I want to be a fairy godmother.

I'm not kidding.  I can see now that basically, Santa Claus and Cinderella's fairy godmother are my role models.

In fact, in the 2015 Cinderella movie, what part do I cry over the most?  What is my favorite scene?  The part with the fairy godmother.  What's my favorite line?  "You shall go to the ball."  I love that fairy godmother, in all her incarnations.  I love that she shows up and says, "Everyone else says you can't, but I say you can.  So you shall.  End of story.  Now go."

And once I realized that, I started thinking about just why I like the fairy godmother.  It's not just that she's kind and generous and helpful.  It's HOW she helps.  She doesn't do a love spell on the prince.  She doesn't give Cinderella a million dollars.  She doesn't solve Cinderella's problems.  She doesn't make all her wishes come true -- not at all.

She gives Cinderella tools.  In fact, she really only loans her those tools.  Dress, shoes, carriage -- none of those are going to do Cinderella any good if she sits and admires them until midnight.  Or if she goes for a joyride.  She has to use those tools -- Cinderella has to do the real work here.  She has to use her own talents and abilities.  The prince doesn't fall in love with her dress or her shoes.  In most versions he doesn't even see the carriage and horses and footmen.  Those are only tools to get Cinderella where she needs to be -- the rest is up to her.

You all know how addicted I am to hosting giveaways on my blogs.  It's because I love giving things to people.  I have a deep desire to make people happy, even if it's just for a few minutes.  I want to share joy.  I also love finding just the right Christmas and birthday presents for people.  But I've realized that I'm very specific in the kinds of things I like giving away best.  I like giving books.  Crafting supplies.  Handmade gifts.  Food.  I don't like giving gift cards or money -- I want to give gifts that are not only meaningful and fun, but useful.  Keychains.  Mugs.  CDs.  Things you can use over and over, learn from, make something with.

Tools.

So, yes, I want to be a fairy godmother.  And I think I'm well on my way.  In fact, before I even had this realization, I bought myself a magic wand on a whim -- I guess subconsciously I already knew this is what I'm going to be when I grow up.

"While You Were Sleeping" (1995)

I saw this in the theater when I was fifteen, the first movie I'd seen in the theater since I was eight.  It ignited my passion for seeing movies on the big screen, and I've been seeing movies in the theater whenever I can ever since.  Until then, I just didn't realize what the difference would be like.  I thought it would be bigger, but I didn't realize that the combination of a massive picture with darkness and few distractions would create a magical realm, almost a different reality.

But anyway, if you haven't seen this movie, I'll tell you what it's about (some spoilage ahead, but not of how it all turns out).  Lucy (Sandra Bullock) works for Chicago's elevated train system.  Her dad died a year ago, her mom died when she was really little, and she has no siblings.  She lives with her cat in a small apartment.  Her only friends are the person who works in the other half of her fee-collecting booth, her boss, her landlord, and her landlord's son who keeps hitting on her.  She is as lonely as possible.

A handsome guy named Peter (Peter Gallagher) starts going through her ticket booth every morning.  She imagines what it would be like if one day, he said 'hi' to her.  She imagines what it would be like if she said 'hi' back and they fell in love and got married.

Lucy works on Christmas because she has no family to spend Christmas with anyway.  Peter comes through her booth and says "Merry Christmas."  Then he gets mugged, falls on the train tracks, and is rendered unconscious.

Lucy rescues Peter.  She accompanies him to the hospital.  She says, "I was gonna marry him!" out loud.  A nurse hears that, thinks she's serious, and tells everyone Lucy is his fiancee.  His family believes this.  Peter is in a coma and can't straighten things out.  Before Lucy can figure out how to tell them the truth, the family invites her to their Christmas gathering and basically adopts her.  Suddenly she has a family, friends, people who care about her and who she cares about.

And she hasn't even met Jack (Bill Pullman) yet.  Jack, who alone of all the family is skeptical of her being Peter's fiancee.

And I'm totally not telling you any more about this movie because if you haven't seen it yet, what ARE you waiting for?  This is an adorable movie.  I love it.  My mom loves it.  My dad loves it.  YOU might as well love it!

(Also, my article in the last issue of Femnista was all about it.)

I realized a few months ago that of all the movie and book and TV show characters I have ever encountered, I identify with Lucy the most.  If I was in her situation, family-less, basically friend-less, I would behave the way she does.  I'd have a cat, I'd put up a Christmas tree just for me and the cat, I'd obligingly work on Christmas so people with families don't have to, I'd give a Christmas present to my landlord.  I'd even wear my dad's old coat and sweaters just to feel connected to him.

And if I ever met up with a guy like Jack... actually, I did meet up with a guy like Jack.  Solid, grounded, unselfish, kind, gentlemanly, funny, and thoughtful.  I just call him Cowboy instead of Jack.

So anyway, a lot of this movie takes place around Christmas, and I put it on my list of Ten Favorite Christmas Movies, and also my Ten Favorite Romantic Comedies.  In fact, this is probably one of my top twenty favorite movies ever.  Now would be a great time to watch or rewatch this!  I'm just sayin'.

Is this movie family-friendly?  It does have a couple of bad words, a couple instances of God's name taken in vain, a mention of 900 numbers, a short discussion of black underwear, and a misunderstanding where someone thinks Lucy is pregnant and she tells someone she's not because she hasn't had sex.  Only for little kids if they're with an adult who's seen it before who knows what they do and don't deem appropriate.

I'm an ISFJ Writer: Protect ALL the Characters!

Charity's been running a series on her Tumblr about how a writer's MBTI type informs their writing, and DKoren posted here about how and why she, as an ISTP, writes.  So here I am, jumping on the bandwagon :-)

I'll start with what Charity said here:  SJs are detailed and systematic in their approach, drawing heavily from their own experiences and/or interests and knowledge base. They proceed neatly point from one point to the next.

Boy, howdy -- that is me.  Some writers write scenes all out of order, whatever they're in the mood for or ready to write.  I've tried that a grand total of once, and it drove me nuts!  I need to know what has already happened before I can write what happens next.  How my characters behave is informed by what they've experienced up to then, and if I haven't written those experiences, I feel unprepared to write what they do next.  And in my own life, I rely on my memories to decide what to do in the present -- I treat emotional memory like muscle memory.

That also feeds into the fact that I do draw on my own experiences for my stories.  I've taken incidents from my life and used them for stories, I've taken my emotional response to something that happened to someone else and used that -- happens all the time.  Because I feel like sharing, I'll even tell you couple of specific examples:

The summer after my freshman year, I got the biggest crush on a guy who worked with me at my summer job.  We eventually went to a movie together, though just as friends.  And then about a week later, lo and behold there he was walking around with another girl, holding her hand.  Like getting hit by a car, I tell you.  I spent the next week writing a Combat! fanfic story about Billy mistaking a nurse's kindness for attraction.  A decade later, I ran into that same guy quite unexpectedly.  I have no idea if he recognized me or not, as I got very self-conscious and shy and kind of ignored him the best I could.  I spent the next NaNoWriMo writing three fanfic stories that grew from that incident -- one in which Sgt. Saunders meets up with a nurse he'd been romantically involved with over a year earlier, then the story of how they met in the first place, and a story that linked the two.  Although the story based on my own experience never quite gelled (yet), and I ended up cannibalizing things from the middle story for something else, the story of their romance is probably my best fanfic story ever, "The Better Part of Valor."

You see why I love Saunders?

Also, like Charity said about drawing on a knowledge base, I struggle to write about things I don't know much about.  I want to do all my research before I start writing a story, not research as I go.  I don't like making factual errors, especially ones I could have avoided if I'd just done my homework, and since most of what I write is set in some historical era or other, this is pretty important.

Another example:  I fell madly in love with The Avengers when it was in theaters.  I'd never seen any of the previous movies, but I loved those characters so much I started writing an Avengers/Combat! crossover story.  Only I didn't really know the characters as well as I should have, particularly Tony Stark, and once I started watching the other Iron Man movies, I accepted that I was writing him all wrong and ditched the whole story because it wasn't working.  Hurt a lot, especially because I felt like, if only I'd done my homework, it would have worked.  (Yes, yes, I could revise it.  Maybe some day I will.)

Can't talk about the Avengers without including a picture of Thor, can I?

But I think the biggest way my ISFJness informs my writing is in how I deal with characters.  I've written before about how I only really love a story if I want to be friends with the characters.  It's my deal breaker -- a movie can be beautiful, a book can be brilliant, a TV show can be hilarious, but if I don't love those characters and want to just hang out with them (in their world or mine, doesn't matter), I'm not going to love it.  Well, obviously I'm not going to write a whole story or novel about characters I don't love, right?

Actually, my first novel had an unlikable protagonist.  I didn't like her, most people in the book didn't like her -- that book definitely taught me not to make that mistake again!  That stinking book took me two years to finish, and I haven't looked at it since.  Got it out of my way, moved on, learned from that experience for sure ;-)

The trouble is, because I love my characters, and because I'm an ISFJ "protector" or "defender," I have a super hard time letting any of them get hurt.  But I write westerns and war stories.  Lots of action and danger and excitement.  People get hurt.  Sometimes they die.  Not as often as they might need to, I must admit -- I regularly plan on characters dying in stories, only to pardon them when it comes right down to it.  Even villains and antagonists!  I can think of four separate instances where I've let the Bad Guy live at the end when I really meant for him not to.  In the novel I'm rewriting right now, two characters were absolutely supposed to die at the end, and do they?  Nope, not a bit.  One other character does have to die for the story to work right, and I've been crying actual tears over having to rewrite his death scene and go through all that again.  Ugh.  Hates it, precious.  And he's a completely minor character!

Now that I know all these things about myself, I do have an easier time writing.  I know I can't jump around in the story if I want it to make sense for me.  I know I need to finish my research before I start writing.  I know I'm going to have to be very hard-hearted indeed when it comes to killing characters for the sake of the story.

"Iron Man 2" (2010) and Another Revelation

I'll say it right here at the beginning so you have no misconceptions:  I do like Iron Man 2.  It's very fun and has some amazing things that delight me.  However, I don't like it nearly as well as Iron Man or Iron Man 3.  And I think I've figured out why.  In fact, thanks to spending a whole bunch of time contemplating why I don't like this as well as the first one in particular, I've had another revelation:

I love stories where what's going on inside the characters and what's happening to them are related.

I'm going to compare Iron Man 2 and Iron Man here, because they're fresh in my head.  Will then expound on other movies.  At some point, yes, I will do a bit of reviewing Iron Man 2.  (There are spoilers ahead.  I'm not marking them individually.  They start pretty much now.  Just so you know.)

So, in this one, what is going on inside Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.)?  He's freaking out because he's dying, and he has no idea what to do.  He's terrified, and he's refusing to confide in anyone other than JARVIS, and so he's doing all kinds of seemingly irrational things.  What's happening to him?  Some Russian dude named Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) is bent on avenging his dad for getting cheated by Tony's dad.  He teams up with another dude named Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) who's trying to steal the Iron Man technology and sell it to the military.  Or something like that.  Anyway, my point is, neither of those has anything whatsoever to do with the fact that Tony is dying.  They try desperately to tie them together with the idea of what legacy you leave behind you, but that feels kind of tacked-on.

Now, what's going on inside Tony Stark in Iron Man?  He's scared by his near-death experience when he was kidnapped, elated by his new creation, and determined to bring his kidnappers to justice.  What's happening to him?  He gets kidnapped, he escapes, he finds out his supposed friend is behind it.  It's all tied together, what's going on inside him and what's happening to him.  I used to say movies like that are really well focused, but now I think I'll say they have a pleasing Singularity of Purpose.

I'll do two other movies to illustrate, and then say a bit more about Iron Man 2.

Another movie that, for years, I've been a bit dissatisfied with:  X-Men (2000).  What's going on inside Wolverine (Hugh Jackman)?  He's trying to accept that he's found people who accept him and falling in love with Jean Grey (Famke Janssen).  What's happening to Wolverine?  Well, one of his new friends does get kidnapped, but it has nothing to do with the fact that she's his friend.  It's all because Magneto's hatched a loony plan to rule the world and he needs Rogue's (Anna Paquin) powers to do it.  I have been known to watch what I call "the good parts version" of this movie, skipping what I call "the boring Magneto parts" because I love so much what's going on inside the characters (especially Wolvie), but the plot keeps getting in the way.

You know this whole post was an excuse to showcase this picture.

By contrast, X2:  X-Men United (2003) has Singularity of Purpose in spades.  What's going on inside Wolverine?  (Yes, let's just admit that he's the main character of those three movies.)  He's tracking down his past, trying to put the puzzle bits back together and figure out how he became who he is.  And what's happening to Wolverine?  His past is chasing him, in the form of William Stryker, who gave him his adamantium skeleton and claws.  It's all tied beautifully together in one giant chocolate truffle of magnificence.

Yeah, that last sentence made no sense, did it.  Oh well, you get what I'm saying.

What I'm saying is that Aristotle, with his Three Unities for drama, may have been onto something.  With the Unity of Action, anyway -- I don't mind so much if the Unity of Place and Unity of Time get bent.  But I want that focus, that Singularity of Purpose, that Unity of Action.  This, of course, is very useful to me as a writer, because I'm sure that Aristotle and I are not the only ones who feel this way.  From here on out, I'm going to make sure my stories are focused like laser beams.

Okay, so anyway... Iron Man 2 amuses me a lot, and has some wonderful character development.  Everything with Tony Stark in it is wonderful.  Much as I like Mickey Rourke (and he's amused me greatly for many years, ever since I first saw Sin City), his part of the movie really feels superfluous, and I can see myself fast-forwarding through them to get to the Good Parts.

And I don't really like what happens with Pepper Potts in this one.  To be very honest, it feels unrealistic.  Here is a woman who has managed Tony Stark's life for years, cleaned up his messes, taken out his garbage, fielded every curve ball he's tossed her way.  But then she becomes head of Stark Industries and falls apart?  What?  It makes no sense to me, and makes Pepper look weak and inept when the whole first movie was spent making her look strong and capable.  Pfui.

I've run out of things to say, suddenly.  OH!  Um, they replaced Terrence Howard with Don Cheadle.  That really, really bugged me the first time I watched this.  Now that I've also seen Cheadle as Rhodey in Iron Man 3, I'm used to him, but I still prefer Terrence Howard -- he had more gravitas, seemed more solid, like he really could just stand up to Tony Stark and call his bluffs.  Don Cheadle feels more weary, annoyed, and impatient.  Could just be me.

Howard and Cheadle as Rhodey

So, in sum, I wish this movie had more of this:

And less of this:

Then I would feel like this:

A Realization and a Revelation

A few months ago, my dear friend Deborah Koren, her sister, and I were ruminating on just what makes us like certain movies, TV shows, and books, and what makes us either not care for or actively dislike others.  Was there a common denominator, we wondered?  A discernible pattern that could explain our tastes, maybe even predict whether or not we would like something.

We came to what we now fondly call the Realization.  There IS something for each of us that draws us to one story and repels us from another.  And every person has their own particular thing!

For me to really like a movie/show/book, I have to want to be friends with several characters.  Not all, necessarily, but if I have a desire to hang out with some of them, I'm going to like it, maybe even love it.  It holds true for every single story that I'm drawn to.  And if there are no characters I want to befriend?  I can recognize the story as well-told, well-acted, etc, but I am not going to like it, certainly not love it.  I am not going to want to watch or read it over and over.

Deborah, on the other hand, needs there to be at least one character that she would like to be.  Someone she identifies with or can imagine herself being.  Totally, completely different thing, and this explains so clearly why a movie that I adore will leave her cold, and something that has her all fired up will make me shrug my shoulders.

We started applying the Realization to everything we ran across, and it has not failed us yet.

Just in the last few days, however, we have had a Revelation that sharpens the Realization just a bit.  That helps us figure out not merely whether we will like a movie/show/book, but which characters we will like best.  It turns out that each of us is drawn to characters that share one particular trait with ourselves.

Me?  I am completely drawn to helpful people.  If someone needs help, and another character steps in to assist them, I'm going to like that helper.  If they turn the other way and don't help, I'm not going to like them at all.  Doesn't matter if they help willingly or with a mutter of annoyance, they just need to be helpful.  You line up every single character that I love unreservedly -- Sgt. Saunders, Angel, Sawyer, Wolverine, Thor, Han Solo, Agent Seeley Booth, Jim Craig, Willow Rosenberg, Heath Barkley -- every single one is helpful.  And I am all about helping!  If I can't be helpful or useful, I get kind of annoyed with the world.  (This doesn't mean I like every helpful character -- Jack Shepard comes to mind -- but every character I do like is helpful.)

Deborah, on the other hand, loves characters who protect others.  And she says that, as an older sister, she grew up with a great need to protect her younger sister and also anyone else who might need it.

We've shared the Realization with several friends, and so far, every single friend has figured out their own common denominator for stories, and been delighted to see how it explains what had previously seemed like crazy, random happenstances.

So now I'm sharing this with you, gentle readers.  If you feel like getting to know yourself a bit better, see if you can figure out what trait your liked movies/shows/books share.  What is it that draws you to the story, to the characters?  What repels you?  And what is the make-or-break reason you like or dislike a character?  If you have your own Realization and/or Revelation, please comment here, because I find this completely fascinating.