Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Micro Movie Reviews

Last night, I was opining to my best friend that I've been trying to write a review of Captain America:  Civil War for a couple of months now, and it's just not working because I can't seem to find a good balance for it -- I could either write 50 words about it, or 5,000.  She laughed and agreed that was a problem, then asked what my 50-words-or-less review would be, anyway.  Which led to me writing tiny reviews of a whole bunch of movies I've watched over the past few months that I haven't reviewed here.  Most of them I've only seen once, and am waiting to see again before I review them.  But here, just for fun, are my micro reviews of seven movies.


At first, I didn't like this movie at all. Then I saw it three more times, and now I love it. You should see it too. Also, I finally got the Spider-man I've always wanted. The End.


I didn't hate this as much as I expected to. Chris Pratt made me laugh.  I wanted to punch the bad guy repeatedly so he'd land in the hospital and not annoy me anymore.


Alicia Vikander is quickly becoming one of my favorite actresses. Sometimes I even stopped staring at Matt Damon long enough to notice she was in this movie. Also, Tommy Lee Jones needs some hugs, but am I really brave enough to offer him one?


Who cast Oscar Isaac as a bad guy and then covered up his handsomeness with so much paint and prosthetics that he could barely speak, much less act? And who said it was okay to make me cry over Magneto multiple times?


Why am I continually surprised by how much I like Marvel's movies? You'd think I'd have learned by now. I didn't see this until after Civil War, which was lame of me -- don't be like me! See this.


So much fun, I want to go read the books now. There's not much higher praise I can give a movie. I did not expect to totally, thoroughly dig it. But seriously, who tells Tom Cruise to put a shirt on? Get real, people.


Is this over yet? Oh, we're smashing more buildings? Didn't we smash that one already?  Guess not.

21 comments:

  1. "Sometimes I even stopped staring at Matt Damon long enough to notice she was in this movie." <<< That made me laugh. :-)

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    1. Yeah, that sentence would have been highly applicable to myself, also, Rachel. :P

      ~Miss Meg

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    2. Haha! Well, yeah... he's just extremely watchable, yanno?

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  2. I like this review format. It's a concentrated dose of wit.

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    1. Thanks, Ashley! I may have to do it again some time.

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  3. "At first, I didn't like this movie at all. Then I saw it three more times, and now I love it."

    That still busts me up so much. These are quite fun. Sometimes you just don't need an indepth review!

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    1. DKoren, yeah, I'm silly sometimes. But at least I came around!

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  4. THIS = "Why am I continually surprised by how much I like Marvel's movies?"

    I ask myself this every time I doubt a Marvel movie too and then wind up loving it. Ant-Man was one I questioned and then loved. 'Civil War' is WAY better than I gave it "First Impression" credit for. Also, your comments on 'Man of Steel' made me LOL. I liked it WAY better than 'Batman v Superman' but yeah, they desperately needed to cut some of the whole destruction scenes; I kept thinking (after each battle), "OK, that was the climax, we're through now." But nope, there was MORE! *sigh* DC needs to take a page from Marvel about how to do superhero flicks right.

    Jack Reacher is one of my favorites. So looking forward to its sequel. :)

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    1. Rissi, I know! There's only been one MCU movie so far that I didn't like so very much I ended up buying a copy so I could watch it over and over. That's an amazing track record.

      I'm now looking forward to the new Jack Reacher movie too!

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  5. Mag 7 was OK, but I kept expecting Eli Wallach to pop up and smack the bad guy in the head and tell him how to pull off the bad guy routine.

    The very worst Marvel universe movie is better than the very best DC universe movie (but I'm prejudiced in that respect. Marvel superheroes were much more realistic personality wise).

    If you tie me up, and prop open my eyes, much like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, I will watch a Tom Cruise movie, but otherwise, I think he's a flake.

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    1. Quiggy, I KNOW! I rewatched the original, and showed it to my 9-year-old at the same time, and was like, "Okay, this is how bad guys are supposed to be. This is a believable villain."

      While I'm not a fan of Tom Cruise as a person, I enjoy the heck out of a bunch of his movies. Four of the Mission: Impossibles, this one, Minority Report, and Collateral are all exceedingly enjoyable for me.

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    2. I watched Minority Report despite the fact that it had Cruise in it. I am a huge fan of Philip K. Dick, and give every movie based on his works a shot. It was OK, but could have been better if they had cast some one else.

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    3. Quiggy, who do you think they should have cast instead of Cruise?

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    4. I don't know. How about Colin Farrell? He was already in the cast anyway.

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  6. I tagged you at my blog, if you're interested. :)
    http://marchramblings.blogspot.com/2016/10/blogger-recognition-award.html

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    1. Thanks, Miss March! I will check it out.

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  7. Civil War - LOVELOVELOVE.

    Mag7 - I'm still soooo leery about this one, but if you're willing to give it another try, I'm willing to keep an open mind. I do think that, if I end up watching it, I'll love quite a few of the characters. :)

    Jason Bourne - MUST SEE. RIGHT NOW.

    Ant-Man - DITTO.

    The other three I either haven't heard of and/or have no interest in watching. A Tom Cruise movie sounds good to me right about now, though. ;)

    ~Eva

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    1. Eva, I don't think the new Mag7 is a must-see. I'm mellowing toward it in retrospect, though. DKoren liked it a ton more than I did, so watch Sidewalk Crossings for her review (and bug her to post one!)

      Ant-Man is reeeeeeeeally fun. And fairly clean, IIRC.

      Just realized I posted a poster for X-Men: Apocalypse that doesn't have the title on it!!! Hee. Once I've watched that one again, I'll do a real review for it. And I'll do a real one for Civil War eventually, I'm sure of it.

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  8. "Who cast Oscar Isaac as a bad guy and then covered up his handsomeness with so much paint and prosthetics that he could barely speak, much less act?" -- WORD. My thoughts exactly!

    I've only seen Civil War twice so far, but so far it's been a very consistent minute-to-minute fluctuation between absolute love and absolute hate. :P It's very tiring.

    I thought Mag 7 turned out better than I'd expected too.

    And you wound up seeing Man of Steel, huh? Sorry. :P

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    1. Sarah, yeah... the rest of Hollywood needs to take a page from Peter Jackson and, if you're going to cover someone up in layer after layer of prosthetics and paint, find someone who can act through it -- who isn't particularly nuanced, in other words. I really like Oscar Isaac's acting, but there's a lot of facial expression going on that just doesn't show through the paint. Sigh.

      My first time through Civil War was full of fear, anger, and sympathetic hurting. Second time, I could enjoy it a bit more. Third time was the charm and I loved it. Fourth time was really joyful.

      I feel like Man of Steel was something I just had to endure so I could get it over with and know what people were talking about.

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Agree or disagree? That is the question...

(Rudeness and vulgar language will not be tolerated.)