Hamlette's Soliloquy

Yippeeeeeee! My Season Two dvds of Combat! have arrived! There are 16 eps on them that I have never seen before! I don't know if I can contain my joy. In celebration, here is a parody (sorta) about Combat! that I wrote back in 1999 (begun at 8:01am on August 13th, to be precise). Sing it to the tune for Don't Rain on My Parade (as sung by Bobby Darin for best results)

"Don't Ridicule Combat!"
by me

Don't tell me not to watch,
I've simply got to.
If someone's eyes get crossed,
It's me and not you.
Don't bring around a crowd
To ridicule Combat!

Don't tell me "Get a life,"
Just like my mother.
These reruns are my life--
I want no other.
Who told you you're allowed
To ridicule Combat!?

I'm gonna march my squad out
To a distant drum.
And if there's an ad break,
Don't change the
Channel,
We might miss the beginning
Panel.
Who cares about who's winning?

But whether you're the husband
Of perfection
Or else a pretty wife
With pure complexion,
Or parents who raised me
On fruitcake and cheese,

I shall ignore you
If it must bore you,
Don't say that sore you
Will be.
Saunders and Hanley,
Littlejohn, Billy,
Caje, Doc, and Kirby
Thrill me.

So get ready for me, Sarge,
'Cause I'm a-comin'.
Just give the order now
And I'll start runnin'.
Nobody,
I said nobody,
Nobody had better
Ridicule Combat!

("A Distant Drum" is the title of an episode, and fruitcake and cheese are references to the episodes "The Long Way Home" and "A Day in June", respectively)