"Hercules" (2014) -- Initial Thoughts

How sad is this:  I almost didn't see this movie in the theater!  I kind of knew this was coming out at some point, cuz I'm a Dwayne Johnson fan, but Entertainment Weekly said zilch about it, and I never saw a trailer, so if my best friend hadn't gone to see it and said, "Dude, why haven't you seen this?  It's loads of fun!" I wouldn't have seen it at all.  Even then, I almost went to see Guardians of the Galaxy today instead, because it's Marvel and I like the songs in the trailer.  But I'm having serious trouble mustering up enthusiasm for Guardians -- I have this nagging fear it's going to be annoying.  Still, last night I looked at showtimes for this morning and discovered that the only Hercules showtime that would work would be for 3D.  And ponying up the extra $4 for 3D -- not my favorite activity.  So I decided to see Guardians after all.  Except this morning, I was like, "No, I'm pretty much guaranteed a good time if I go see a Dwayne Johnson swords-and-muscles movie, and I have had a long, hard week -- I'm going for the good time."  I'm so glad I did.

(If your eyebrows are raised right now, and you're going, "Hamlette is a Dwayne Johnson fan?  What?!?!" um... yes.  Ever since I saw The Scorpion King in the theater.  Twice.  Really dig him.  And relate to him, in a way -- like, the characters he plays, if I was a big, muscly guy instead of a small, non-muscly chick, I'd totally play those roles.  The way he plays them.  So.  Sorry if I blew your mind or messed with your ideas of me, but, there it is.  I know I haven't mentioned him on here lately cuz of um, no good reasons except it's been a while since I saw one of his movies, but anyway...)

This movie.  It's fun!  It wants to be fun!  Have I mentioned how much I love movies that are just here to have fun and give you a good ride, and aren't all pretentious with their seriousness and topicality and artsyness?  This is one of those movies.  And a well-made, well-acted fun movie, to boot!  Which are the best kind, of course.

Erm, yes.  Dwayne Johnson = good actor.  I did say that.  I meant it, too.  When it comes to watchability, to making me care about a character and feel what they're going through, to making me root for them with all my fist-pumping movie-goer heart?  Has that in spades, folks.  You don't believe me, go watch Walking Tall or The Rundown.  Or this!  Go watch this, quick, before it disappears from theaters!

Right.  Adrenaline mixed with enthusiasm makes me a little incoherent, have you noticed that?  :-D

So this takes the basic legend of Hercules and kind of skews it a bit.  Hercules the demi-god, son of Zeus and a human, had to go on all those quests to earn Hera's favor, etc.  In this, he has this band of followers that sort of helped that legend grow a bit -- Hercules isn't a demi-god, he's just a big, strong, fierce, mighty warrior.  And a good man.  And he's got this sad past, and he's got his friends, and they're mercenaries, and they get hired to protect this old king and his kingdom from a bunch of marauders.  Lots of thrilling heroics ensue, and then... then things get reeeeeeeeeeeally interesting.  And I was sitting in my theater seat literally bouncing up and down, alternately whisper-shouting, "YES!" and "NO!" and probably really annoying the three senior citizen ladies sitting behind me.  That's okay, though, they annoyed me early in the movie with their non-whispered conversation about non-movie-related things.  I was also fist-pumping, I clapped my hands at several points, and I laughed a lot.  A lot.

Cuz two of Hercules' followers are played by Ian McShane (remember how great he was in Jack the Giant Slayer?) and Rufus Sewell, and they were both zinging off these one-liners and funny asides and, wow, loved it.

And hey, when did Rufus Sewell get so hot?!  Oh my goodness, he was actually distracting me from Dwayne Johnson at times, which is no mean feat.  He should have grown this beard and gotten all slice-and-dicey years ago!  Not that I didn't love him as Ladislaw in Middlemarch, cuz I pretty much bought that series just for him.  And he's been loads of fun in everything from A Knight's Tale to Amazing Grace, but I have never seen him this attractive.  Keep the beard, Rufus!  And the arms.  The attitude you've always had, thank goodness.

While we're discussing the followers, I have to mention Atalanta, a no-nonsense Amazon archer played so nicely by Ingrid Bolso Berdal -- I loved her!  Wanted to be her!  Totally accepted by this band of butt-kickers, no one's drooling over her, she's not just there for the eye-candy -- I want more characters like her in my movies.  Immediately.  Yeah, her costume shows skin, but let's be honest, it's no more skin than Dwayne Johnson's baring.  Really, really liked her.

Okay, so anyway, thank you, Deb, for being the best friend I could ever have and encouraging me to go see this!  I'm so glad I didn't wait for DVD, though I'm pretty sure I'll be buying a copy.

Is this movie family-friendly?  No.  Lots of violence, a fistful of swearwords including one f-bomb, and lots of scary moments.  My kids can see this when they're like 17.