Hamlette's Soliloquy

There is a horrifying spider in the little laundry room in our duplex complex (I call the Crypt an apartment, but really it's a duplex in a little grouping of duplexes). I went in there just now to start my weekly laundry, and there it was, lurking in a corner with evil obviously on its mind. It didn't move while I was in there (and believe you me, I watched it every second), but who knows where it will be by the time I have to go in and start my next load. And Cowboy is at work and cannot come to my rescue :-( And I can't put off the laundry until tomorrow because then I will have nothing to wear to work. So I have to go back in there. I shall take a rolled-up newspaper for protection in case it attacks, but I'm really wishing I had some spider-killing spray to take instead so I could just put an end to the horror. Why don't I have have an arsenal of spider-killing spray? Why? Why? Why?

Or a Thompson. Why don't I have a Thompson? Man, I loved cradling that submachine gun last year in Atlanta. That would make quick work of a malevolent spider. Very quick work. Hee -- it's a good thing I don't have any firearms of any sort or I probably would be tempted to go packin' when I do my laundry and maybe give the laundry room some new ventilation.