Hamlette's Soliloquy

I caught a frog at work last night!

I was carrying some razors over to the shaving aisle, and saw this dark splotch on the floor. My first thought was, "I thought they already ran the scrubber through here tonight. They missed that spot bigtime." Then I glanced at it again and saw that it was a darling little frog! It was about as big as a half-dollar, the kind that we called Tree Frogs when I was a kid, kind of dark green and black speckled with pale green toes.

I said, "Whoa, a frog!" and set down my box of razors. Christian was helping me stock last night, and she came over and said, "A frog? Where?" I squatted down to look at it, and so did she. Christian said, "What're we gonna do with that?" I said, "Rescue it, of course!" She was all, "How? You're not gonna pick it up, are you?" Sigh. Stupid girls.

So I picked it up and, after losing it a couple times (it seems my frog-capturing skills are a little rusty), I finally got it cupped securely between both my hands. I could feel its little heart thumping madly as I carried it up to the doors, poor thing.

As I carried it up to the front, I passed one of our cute little crotchety old maintenance men that I get along with quite well. He said, "What in the world are you carrying like that?" I said, "A frog!" He said, "No kidding?" So I opened my hand just a tiny bit, and the frog peeked out very cutely.

When I got outside, I knelt down by the building and opened my hands so the frog could jump out. And that's when the frog decided it liked me. Instead of hopping out the way it'd been trying the whole time I carried it out, it just sat on my hand for a few seconds, then crawled a little way up my arm toward my elbow. Then crawled back to my hand. Then crawled partway back up my arm and just sat there, looking at me. It was a very well-behaved frog and never slimed me. And I loved the little whispery feel of its feet scrabbling up my arm.

So I walked, frog perched on my arm like a tiny falcon, over to this little islandy thing in the parking lot where there are a few scrubby bushes and a tree and a stop sign. And dirt. And the frog liked that place better, and hopped off.

Coolest thing that's happened to me at work in forever. I like frogs! This was a really cute one, too. Wish I could have kept it.